Pictures!

29th December – back in Dubai

Have been spending the best time ever with Shani – I don’t really know who else I feel this comfortable around, bar JM and my family. We literally walk around in our undies and don’t care – it’s grrreat. Drove back to Dubai playing some good tunes to keep the 1.5 hours bearable, then spent literally 12 hours in Dubai Mall. We started with a Forever21 and TopShop shop, but soon were too exhausted to do anything. Perhaps an inkling that we were getting ill? We met Tara and reunited – we were only missing one more Canadian lady.

We were to meet miss Felesky at Karma Cafe, a swanky Eastern style bar. I had no idea (d’oh, I lost it – again) and spoke Arabic to the bouncer to get in. mwahahaha. Alas, Erin was too tired with jetlag and so we just enjoyed some girly time together.

The next day, Shani and I were pretty sick and out of it. We stayed in bed till late, I got a mani pedi, then we met up with Tara, Felsk and Clay at the Dubai City Walk. Unfortunately it took Erin and Clay 3 hours to get there – due to silly traffic and Dubai Mall hecticness. Shani has been completing a job application all this while, and I need to get down and do some more productive work too…

And this morning, on the 29th, I just practiced some yoga by myself and will try and get Shani to practice with me too!

In Abu Dhabi

So, spent Xmas with Shani and her cute fam fam! Much more festive than being stuck at home. I feel a little bad that I didn’t spend it with Gma, but she was going to parties with her old friends – not the best place for me!

We actually had an adorable Xmas Eve. Auntie D’s fam, me and Gma met up at Wafi for a meal and mini-golf. It was adorable seeing Grandma play – she was actually really good at mini-golf. It was a UV course, and my Lasik eye surgery made it impossible for me to see or concentrate on the ball.

It was sweet to get together with my family and I’m blessed that we’re all in the same city – I do agree that the family bond is losing a little bit, but we can work on it. It might even disintegrate further because the kids will be heading off to university soon. I can’t help but feel like it’s my ‘duty’ – or so grandma says – to keep the family unit together. Or is this a responsibility I am creating in my mind and taking it upon myself?

Christmas day. I went to the beach for a run and a yoga session. I have been feeling pretty exhausted for the past few days. I don’t remember if I blogged about my night out at Mahiki. I don’t think I did!

On the 23rd, I met with Shani for the first time in 2.5 years. Pretty surreal but everything’s settled into normalness and we’ve gone back into our same relationship. She too cool. We went for drinks for Karan’s bday and then to Mahiki. Admittedly, it wasn’t actually that bad. I just love dancing. I was experiencing a lot of silly feelings with regret and trying really hard to please everyone. Obviously, it just doesn’t work like that. I was feeling guilty to leave early because making Shani miss out, I was feeling guilty to stay late because it meant Majid would have to wait for longer – my mind wanted me to stay but my knee told me to chill out. So, I was a little bit of a mess. Shani was cool and we left earlier at 2am – got Maccy D’s – and Majee was a little bit drunk and it was cute. We all chatted and then Majid passed out on my bed – so we slept top to toes and squeezed in.

Anyway – next day was the 24th and was Xmas eve. I think I just mosied about.

25TH was Yoga and Running, then I drove to Abu Dhabi. Had a huge turkey meal – so much for being veggie. It’s a little bit difficult to do so when you’re being invited for dinner and things. Jannick and Juli are little studmuffins.

And we have just made a last minute decision to watch Above and Beyond and ditch Blue Marlin.

HUZZAH

Making the Massage Lady happy

After work, yesterday, I needed to sort my back out. I had a PT session in the morning, and did a deadlift sumo squat with the Smith Machine. I had a niggling feeling it was a bad idea, but didn’t really want to question Nenad. On the last rep of my last set, I pinged my back.

Spent the entire day in the office with a heat patch on my lower back.

I’m goddamn stupid for coming in so early today. And I keep running my head over and over why it was so stupid of me to come in half an hour earlier than everyone else, but hopefully it shows to some that I have some discipline and respect for the job that I’m doing. To set me up …. in a different LoS. Great, Sara. Great.

I had a massage yesterday to sort my back out. The poor Chinese lady was really unhappy. I asked her how she was, and she replied with a ‘BU HAO’. So I asked if she wanted to take a timeout, and she was confused and was first quite pissed off at me. But then, she realised what I was saying; and decided to stay – and I told her if she wanted to chat about her issues, she can. And so we just chatted about nothing and laughed when I spat out broken indescriptive Mandarin. She was a lot happier in the end, and I was having depressive thoughts about how work is pretty shit for everyone involved. So, someone in her position has to work this horrible job of massaging people, from 10-10. And then I drew the situation to mine, where I was working at a desk, doing what I don’t really love. Which is better, which is worse? I suppose I make more money. But if utility is measured by contentedness and satisfaction, surely we both don’t win?

Anyway, after that, I met up with Hedieh and it’s just fantastic meeting up with her again. She’s hilarious and makes me laugh endlessly – but she’s going through a bit of a tough time and having similar issues like me concerning where to live, and your ‘significant other’ having dreams that clash with yours.

And that is probably the gargantuan problem of every modern day relationship.

My Last Day

PwC’s last day. What have I learned, what have I done?

Should have probably noted the end of each project as I went along, but it seemed that I made a major error. I didn’t bother getting to know the senior staff. I kept to myself quite a lot. I think these are mistakes to note for when I do start my next job.

1. Making a good connection with your team from the first day is crucial. People don’t actually care THAT much about your work deliverable – I think that if you are a great person to be around, they notice and want to interact with you more.

2. Connecting and making yourself known with the senior staff. Henceforth, everyone else will know you.

3. Don’t sit down and get too anti-social with your work….for the first few days, at least.

Ok. Well. What have I actually done?

– Formulated market research about the theme park industry, Extreme Sports and arenas in Dubai. Creating competitor benchmarks for the client, and contributing towards the final report for the client proposal.

– In-depth research in the healthcare industry; specifically, calling hospitals in Abu Dhabi and interviewing in Arabic to try and understand their future expansion plans.

– Aiding the real estate industry with researching their regulations on foreign investment; specifically, UK, Australia, Norway and Canada.

– Observed a client meeting in Ras Al Khayma in the entertainment and leisure business, and another client in the theme park industry.

I have a few comments to make.

1. Religion makes paradoxically makes you more self aware and unaware.

2. Western culture norms seem to be the ‘trendiest’ to follow

3. Lesley Fightmaster makes the best yoga videos – I’d say it’s as good as taking a class! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zP5lOZNfo0&list=PLEs9dX8UXFZoByco4IAqeTjQf5H6QKCb_&index=16

4. I’m very uncomfortable doing nothing. Have I always been like this?

Ok! Let’s have a monster blog post and then carry on with the previous points.

I have just learned how to count macros. I was quite lazy about it previously, because I had memorised the calorie content of every foodstuff when I was 16, and have always sort of believed that I indulged too much time in this area of knowledge. I didn’t want to waste more time and hence never bothered with counting macros. I was severely underhitting my protein, and overcompensating with fats. Carbs were low or on point.

I just inhaled a delicious bowl of oats, topped with milk, slice almonds, chia seeds, flaxseed, PB, honey, dried fruit…oh my gerd.

The past 2 days have been a little more interesting at the office. On Wednesday, I was helping Dina with last minute preparation for the team event on Thursday. So it was a pretty intense day with trying to get everything done – followed by a little team which was drinks and canapes (shitty canapes) at the top of the Sofitel. So, on this day, I had a feeling of – oh, maybe I can do this. It doesn’t all seem that bad. I met some decent people, but after speaking to all the new-joiners, no one likes their job. I wonder if it’s the mentality of everyone saying that no one liked their job, and therefore everyone conforms to this as well. Well, I guess the people who had expressed themselves were in Audit and Assurance – not Consulting nor Deals.

(Supposed to be on the 18th December, I think)

–> Here I am, a couple of days later completing this post- it’s Sunday 21st.

On Friday 19th December, it was the PwC ‘Wayday’. What in good God’s name does Wayday mean? Dina threw the term around a lot and I had NEIN clue what it meant. It was a pretty intense day, to be honest. And honestly speaking, I wasn’t interested in any of it. That rings mega bells to me. What am I doing, getting myself in this industry?

I think what was probably one of the most tragic things of that day was the ‘team building exercise’. We had to build a bridge out of newspaper, and it had to have the strength to support 8 mobile phones. Clearly, the way to do it is to roll your paper into cylinders, and to form said bridge. I confidently suggested this to my team of 7. Seven men. Seven older, more senior-positioned men.

Did they listen to me?

Abbbssso-fucking-lutely not.

For obvious reasons, really.

And so, my little girly self waned to the background, taking a backseat in the construction of said bridge. The most senior – a Director or Partner of some sort – suggested scrunching up the balls. Obviously the most ridiculous concept to ensure that the bridge will not break through the middle, as this technique increases the crevices in the bridge. But yes, the pride of the team will not take into account a FEMALE INTERN’S opinion on what to do. And so we all follow down this path of doom. I sit back and help out, but sometimes just leave myself out of it. It was a case of too many cooks; and as the other team members and I peered around curiously to see other team’s techniques, it was pretty damn clear that everyone was adopting mine.

This said interaction made it pretty coherent how teams work at PwC. Do I really want to be part of a corporation that supports this sort of treatment?

I had to miss the team dinner which was later in order to chaperone Adam’s house party. I was in a bad, horrible, awful mood that night. I was hAngry. I was starving because I was trying to eat clean and not have any crap food like muffins or cookies, and I was ANGRY because I thought the party was all dependent on me being there. However, when I get to Arabian Ranches (after driving hangrily through traffic in desert nothingness and full dependence on my GPS), I see that there are 2 maids there. I then find my driver….2 security guards….and to top it all off, my uncle with his mate. GOOD LORD. They calm me down slowly, and I just don’t appreciate the way they ask me. They never really asked me outright if I could do this. They just said, I am doing it. I just want a little more empathy and politeness. Not to be told at 6am in the morning, on the day, by Grandma.

Enough bitching I guess. I constantly felt guilty and FOMO-d about missing the dinner, missing Omar and Jean’s chillage, missing Phil and Mo’s chillage. I hate letting people down; but at the end of the day, someone always gets hurt or disappointed. So I should really just relax and chill. I wish I could think more like Jean, actually. Was trying to harness his ‘ I don’t give a damn’ attitude.

Friday, I awake, and I practice some yoga in my room by myself. I think? Beach time with Majid and co. I feel antsy and nervous and just a little bit all over the place. I feel like I need to do pushups – I do 3 sets of 20.

Head over to Mozzo after, Khaled’s, Jetty lounge and Khaled’s. I miss out on Phil’s chilled drinks and once again felt guilty. I meet all of Nadine’s friends who are all really lovely girls.

Saturday I spend recovering. And grumpy. Have lunch with the fam, go to JBR late with Phil and meet Jess, Mo and Mitch there. Come back and have Smiling BKK with Majid and Nardz.

JBR beach – too late for the sun, and too lazy/injured for the obstacle course

I should describe these little locations and take pictures of it; but I have been quite lazy.

Alserkal Christmas Art and Food Market

I wake up,absolutely exhausted. I wonder if it’s because I was working out every morning last weekend, but my body is superbly burnt out. I also dread the gym and hate it – although I’m craving a cardio session of some sort. Wish I could dance.

Anyway, I began my day with a yoga lesson at The Studio in Al Wasl Square. I can’t say that the lessons there have been that great, especially compared to Eco Yoga’s 1.5 long classes. Elaine – Phil’s mum – has got to be one of the best teachers that I have ever practiced with.

I had a family lunch which was nice, but hectic, again. I just get this sense of unease when I’m around too many people now, which is a bit strange. I think moreso because I feel like I can’t express myself adequately with my family; they still think I’m a child but at the same time think I’m an adult. I sort of understand their discomfort; I find it a little strange that Amaya and Alyssa are little women with opinions of their own. But, even more so in a misogynistic family culture that I am part of, young smart little women seem to be a foreign existence for us. And they struggle to take in what we say into account, because surely what we say isn’t actually worth listening. Or it’s just reached this little awkward stage of a relationship; when has Uncle Alywin or Auntie Karima actually talked to Alyssa and asked her opinion about x, y, z? It’s just not really a done thing in the family, and it would be strange to break out of this habit.

I gave the kids their last Xmas presents, to their delight. I relaxed a little bit with the family, and then met Omar, Khaled, Bassil, Yas and Darius to go to the Art&Food market.

Jess, Me, Phil and Nikita posing infront of a graffiti wall (I drew a rose on it!)

It is a little bit disappointing when comparing the food market with London’s, but to be honest, it’s a good show! The art galleries are actually impressive, yet I wonder why in a different country, I embrace the art more openly. In Dubai, there is just this overshadowing sense of art being there and people being there to BE there…rather than to experience the art.

I actually wanted to relax on my own because the tunes were SICK. Some good funky disco talent coming from Dubai.

I was joined by Jess, Phil and Nikita after; and had a ‘Poor-trait’ of Majid and I done as an X mas present. Majid looks nothing like Majid.

Lastly, I went to a movie for the Dubai International Film Festival with Phil, his mum and VK. It was based on the Lost Boys and Girls of Sudan, and it really put life into perspective. Previous to the movie, I watched a short video about the brain washing abilities of TV, ‘Obey and Consume’ being messages that America tries to infiltrate our world with.

Kenji from Birdgang, the UK dance troupe, actually shared it. And had an interesting insight – that governments want us to remain quiet, to not question authority, to be robots in this fabricated system that society has forced upon us.

It’s done on a subconscious level like this video shows. Also by pounding us with so called life necessities (earning money to pay taxes and buy products, buying a house, getting a well paid job that will put us in a respected position in society, finding a wife/husband, being ambitious (but in a negative sense, in that it makes us competitive at the expense of others and seeing others as rivals, as well as making us perpetually wanting more)) to keep us from thinking about things. We don’t really have freedom due to the various ways we are constantly being conditioned, we are all products of out society. But that goes against out nature, we are meant to be critical and inquisitive creatures, we’re just being sedated at the moment.

I think the scene which struck me most was their progression from Africa to the West, and how the 3 men struggled to adapt to the commercial lives that drive the West. To think that they came to the West for an improved lifestyle – true on some levels, and false on others. Yes, obviously, their comfort is underpinned by the fact that they no longer have to live in fear of their lives. However, coming to the West and starting from the bottom, indeed, made them ‘nobodies’ in this big city. Reduced, or ‘promoted’, to becoming an assembly line worker and super market can stackers in order to make money to stay alive. Doing things they don’t want to do. Complying with the selfish values that their bosses have; which is maximising their profit and revelling in beating all surrounding competition. The excess of waste and consumerism was probably highlighted to me most strongly throughout the movie; probably because of the video that I watched prior to it…

That’s all for now!

x

Pedram visiting Dubai

After Christmas, Pedram lands in Dubai at 2am. I can’t sleep because I’m so excited! Our first stop in the morning at 9am (why am I exhausted too?) is Dubai Mall. We go straight to the Social House (my fave) and he gets a sizzling plate of eggs while I go for the ‘Healthy Light option’ of fresh fruits and a measly piece of tofu. Coffee downed, Pedram was constantly plugged to his phone, editing and taking selfies of us and documenting our journey.

We decided to go to the Dubai Zoo which, for me, was a mixture of delight and sadness for the animals. It was fantastic because I saw these beautiful tanks chock full of beautiful, colourful fish. Yet, I knew that these poor animals were experiencing horrible cruelty. I consoled myself thinking; this is Dubai Mall. There must be a whole team of regulators coming in and complaining if any sort of animal cruelty was coming into play. [I later found out from Mimi that, indeed, there is none. D:]

These beautiful Lion fish were crammed into a tiny little tank. 

The adventure started with us taking a glass bottom boat around the top of the Aquarium. To be frank it was pretty shoddy.The boat was controlled by an Ethiopian lady pulling the boat along with a rope whose path went around the Aquarium. We could see the sharks chilling at the bottom of the tank – pretty much a humongous FUCK YOU to everyone trying to watch them on the sides. There was even a shark chilling underneath the boat where it docked and we could see it literally underneath our feet, just a pane of glass separating us.

There were OTTERS that were scrambling around their little enclosure – I stress little.

There was a HUMONGOUS crocodile who was maybe double my width and length who was perched stationary on a rock – I stress stationary.

and there were PENGUINS who were waddling around and swimming about. I stress penguins.

It was a pretty cool day to be honest, and with the tickets costing 110AED, it may be seen as excessive but we got some cool little presents at the end (a Seal mug which I gave to Adam for Xmas).

We then grabbed a really quick lunch at the Food Court (on account of me trying to save money and time) and I felt really embarrassed that I had to drag Peddy to such a bad place for lunch. But we rushed over to the top of the Dubai Creek Hotel, to a place called CuBa which was a rooftop pool bar.

We were half an hour early, and they were an hour late. We spent most of our time just basking in the sun and enjoying each others’ company. The girls came, the music cranked up, he had some Grey Goose, and we were off. I dropped him at the airport which was only 10 minutes away, and then I passed out at home. I was really exhausted. I actually watched some TV for the first time in my life – Limitless and some other movie with Adam Sandler and J Anniston about them getting married. And it made me really excited about marrying Mimi. And I’m incredibly love sick.

Christmas at the Liusie’s

On the 11th December 2014, we celebrated Xmas. Christmas in Dubai never really has that REAL Xmas spirit… and Xmas is centralised around being with your family. So why should the actual date matter? We’ve celebrated it early for the past 3 or so years on account of Auntie Karima going away during Xmas.

Maybe Xmas is less magical because I’m getting older – this is probably true to some degree but there are a number of other factors coming into play….

1.Our family is getting BIGGER and BIGGER – to the point where it’s unmanageable. Well, just that our family don’t seem to carry conversations anyway; but perhaps on the kids side there’s more of that. I enjoy sitting with the kids.

2. Dubai’s general commercial approach towards Xmas – but even worse is the general lack of Xmas cheer. There was – obviously – much more hype surrounding UAE’s national day.

I’m writing this blog post in the office- probably not the best setting for me to write an entry about X mas haha. Let’s look at the positives of that night.

I had my little brother, Salman, come in for celebrations just for that day. It was really lovely being with him – he lives in Saudi Arabia, and he’s just a handsome little chap. Naughty and addicted to his iPad – this, I hate.

So we started by just settling in – ie me ingesting all the Xmas Cookies. I drew with Salman and Kayla on the floor, and felt really old taking care of them by placing newspapers underneath and getting them paper, etc. and having to clean up. Was just thinking about this meme:

We stuck Frozen on, Salman played Minecraft with Adam and the other 3 were playing a boardgame. We came down for food and it was a little bit hectic for some reason. I need to meditate. I don’t really feel present in anything I do, and kind of all over the place. I felt like I was continuously standing and sitting back down, instead of just taking my time and enjoying the company and food around me.

After that, Adian whacked out the guitar and we all had a good ol’ singalong.

Present time – although, all the kids were told that ‘there would be no presents’, which kind of ruined the Xmas feel for them. I don’t think presents are a bad thing, but I do think that simply giving money is a pretty shit way to celebrate Xmas. Where’s the excitement or the appreciation of receiving a little present that doesn’t necessarily have to cost over 1000AED?

So that happened – people started handing out money and I was a little upset by that. I know everyone means best, but I just think it teaches the kids the wrong ideals – because I definitely did have the wrong ideals growing up, towards money. I still think I have the wrong attitude towards money.

We all received amazing costumes from Auntie Diana – highlight of the night. Although it’s too hot to wear in Dubai, the best thing about them are the zippers for bumflaps. Easy access – that was the bane of my life whilst wearing them in the UK because when you need to go to the bathroom halfway through the night…removing your only source of comfort/heat is the last thing you want to do!

And there we go. This is my hectic family. Oh, and Grandma and Grandpa were wasted. As per!

x

11th December 2014

Yesterday was actually a great day at work, mixed with the realisation that I dislike working corporate.

Thing is, right now sat in the office at 8.45, it feels OK. It’s not a BAD environment, per se; the free refreshments and fruit help.

But what I feel is a real shame is that my creative self has no opportunity to surface. I’m scared that if I spend too long in a corporation, I will lose any inkling of creativity that I own. I feel like I may regress into a robot – and to be honest, creativity is a skill to be practiced. If one is constrained by habit, it soon becomes nature.

Gettin’ all Confucious in your face.

Anywho. It’s difficult. I’m weighing the ‘practical’ side of earning a lot of money, whilst weighing the ’emotional’ side of being apart from Mimi for a year, and being in an industry I might even dislike.

It makes sense for me to stick it out one year, to save up while I can, or does it? Which outweighs which? Sticking to something for a year and getting the long-term financial security, or ‘follow my dreams’ given the inherent instability of said dream.

Doesn’t everyfuckingone have this conundrum? I know Omar does. Maybe I need to sit with him and specifically chat about it.

What even IS the dream? My dream is to work in a company which serves a COOL and MEANINGFUL purpose. But Wha? Guess I need to surf this website properly – escapethecity.

And I have. And I have discovered that everyone wants people to have experience. It seems what’s difficult is getting your foot in the door. Following experience, it is easier to do what you want to do from there.

So maybe it does make the best sense to stick at PwC. I just had a pretty chilled coffee with Dina and she is a lot more chilled out compared to other instances with others I had in the office.

Maybe I should just suck it up a little. I wish JM just came to Dubai for one year. It would help a lot. Let’s see if I can even get the PwC job concreted.